Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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