There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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