in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
