Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
