So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
