There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
