wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
