i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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