I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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