Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
