sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
