Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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