Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
