after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
