With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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