went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
