he wants to bone in the snuggie
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Can you bring me the toilet please
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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