Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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