saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
