You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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