if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
