Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
