We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
