I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Your penis caused this!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
