yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
