What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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