Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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