just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize