The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
