i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
