shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
