How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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