What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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