so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
