Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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