Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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