Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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