Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize