Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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