I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
