How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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