went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
