I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
