why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You need a sexual gate keeper
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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