i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So much rum. So many feels.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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