I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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