before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
