A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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