porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
