She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
