Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
