This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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