# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
