Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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