and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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