She's JV to your varsity
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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