thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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