Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
