I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
