That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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