uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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