Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
