That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
