omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
