So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
