sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
