the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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